AoT AU: Behind His Walls: Levi x Reader: Part 16

You fidgeted with you sleeves as you stood outside the café. Your book bag was slung across your shoulder, weighted down by the supplies for your tutoring session. This isn’t anything special, you thought to yourself, trying to calm your quickening heart beat. It’s just like any tutoring session.
With a sigh, you hoisted your bag up and grasped the metal doorknob to the store. Stepping into the small café, your nose was met with a pleasing mixture of coffee grounds, tea leaves, and fresh pastries. The scent did help your breathing to steady, if only a little.

Glancing around, you quickly spotted Levi sitting at a table in the corner, sipping his tea while gazing out the window. You approached him, setting you bag down and taking a seat across from him.
He set his tea cup down, and you could faintly smell the scent of black tea. “Thank you for meeting not at our usual time.”
“Of course. It’s not a problem.” You nodded, beginning to pull out your books and papers.

The time studying passed by smoothly, much more relaxed than you thought it would be. Levi seemed to be more open again, rather than the cold, closed-off way he had been acting recently, which was a relief as well.
After nearly an hour had gone by, Levi glanced at his watch.
“That should be fine for today,” he said, closing the textbook. “You’ve improved a lot.”
You smiled faintly. “Thank you. It’s only because of these sessions that I’m passing.”
You stuffed your supplies back into the bag, and lifted it onto your shoulder. You and Levi headed to the door, which he pushed ahead and held open for you. “Thank you,” you nodded to him as you passed.

He closed the door behind himself, and you shifted awkwardly as he lingered by the store front. Levi was staring at you rather oddly, seeming to be in his own little world. His grey eyes looked even darker under the dimly lit sidewalk, but you could sense that strange softness in them nonetheless.
“Um…” you said, waiting for him to say goodbye, or something. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You gave a little wave, perplexed by the fact that he still didn’t react to you, before turning a heel and heading back toward your apartment.

“Would you like to go for a walk?”

Your breath halted at the sound of the man’s low, monotone voice. What did he just say?
You turned around, seeing Levi still hadn’t moved. Maybe you had misheard him.
“I’m sorry?” you asked.
He took a step forward casually, hands in his pockets, and raised an eyebrow. “Would you like to go for a walk?” he repeated.

Your mind immediately told you to decline, to think of an excuse and leave. That was the logical thing to do, the smart thing. He was your professor after all… Couldn’t this be perceived as wrong in the eyes of the university?
But for some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. You didn’t want to, you realized. There was something about him that made you want to understand him better, to uncover the man behind the mask.

“Um…” you said softly, not finding the courage to look him in the eyes just yet. “Yeah, okay.”
Levi nodded, giving no response to your answer or even giving an indication he heard you. “Let’s drop your bag in my car then,” he said, and motioned with his head for you to follow him the other way down the block.  
You swallowed, and began walking behind the raven-haired man. He turned a corner and pulled out his keys, and you could hear a click as his black vehicle unlocked. You handed him your bag, which he put in the backseat.
He shut the door, and now turned to face you. You rocked nervously on your feet, still not meeting his gaze. You may have accepted his offer, but this was all a little too weird still…
He nodded his head down the road now, indicating for you to walk with him, which you obliged.

Neither of you spoke for a minute, which only seemed to make your heart race faster. You didn’t feel as if it were your place to start a conversation. What did he even want with you anyway?
You tried to focus on your surroundings. The sidewalk was dimly lit by the overhanging street lights, casting long, elegant shadows. The sun had now submerged completely below the horizon, leaving the sky painted a pure navy blue, with pale flecks of orange telling you twilight had not yet left. A star or two shimmered though, indicating the arrival of pure night was near.
You closed your eyes now, as a light gust of wind blew across your face. The air was just a little chilly, but the kind that still felt comfortable, relaxing even, and you managed to calm your nerves.
Sighing deeply, you remained unaware of Levi glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.

His heartbeat quickened ever so slightly at the sight of your hair delicately blowing in the cool night air. Something about you in that moment looked so…free. Illuminated under the street lights, he caught the smallest sparkle in your eye as you continued to casually observe the passing scenery. There was something about the way you looked, the way you moved so gracefully, that Levi didn’t want to ruin the moment. He wasn’t sure when he might get a chance like this – to spend an evening walk with you on a beautiful autumn night.  

He sighed lightly, returning his gaze to the sidewalk and stuffing his hands in his pockets. But he needed to tell you…about your parents...about what he knew… That he was sure of.
That was his intention for this walk. You deserved to know.
He closed his eyes before taking a deep breath to calm himself.

“How was your birthday?”
The sudden sound of Levi’s voice made you jump a bit, even though he spoke barely louder than a murmur. You raised your eyebrows a bit, surprised by his question.
“How did you–”
“Erwin told me it was yesterday.”
You nodded.
“Oh, it was fine. I had a nice evening with the Smiths,” you spoke quietly, matching the level of Levi’s voice.
“That’s good. They’re good friends to have.”

You smiled softly, nodding in agreement.
“Yeah. Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without them. Erwin’s like a father to me.”
Levi didn’t respond immediately, something you noticed he did often. He seemed to be deep in thought, pondering his next words. Sometimes, you wish you could understand what was going on in that complex mind of his.
“What about Petra?”
You glanced at the raven-haired man, a little surprised by his question.  
“Of course,” you nodded, “Petra too.”

The conversation went silent again, but you had grown used to the extended pauses when you were with Levi. In fact, you were beginning to appreciate the ease in which the two of you could be comfortable together without speaking a word.
The street lights were becoming more and more sparse, but this was no matter, as the moon was shedding a substantial light along your path. It was quite a beautiful night indeed…

“Do you want to stop here for a bit?”
Once again, you were taken out of your thoughts by the raven-haired man’s abrupt question. “Hm?” you asked, and noticed him indicating toward a wooden bench along the path.
“Oh, yeah sure,” you said quietly, and the two of you took a seat. You were suddenly hyper-aware of your proximity to Levi when you sat, and you noticed he had sat himself near the middle of the bench, closer to you.
You observed the raven-haired man out of the corner of your eye as he took a few deep breaths and bit his lip. Something about him seemed…off tonight. You couldn’t place a finger on it, but he seemed…almost nervous? No, that couldn’t be. When had Levi ever seemed anything but bored and somber?

You dared to take a glance to your ide at the raven-haired man, trying your best to be discreet as you studied him for a moment. To your surprise, you had been right.
Maybe not anyone would notice, but you had grown accustomed to Levi’s usual grim look, and you knew it enough to realize when something was off. His forehead creased ever-so-slightly, eyebrows raised anxiously not even a centimeter high. But what gave really gave him away was what lay below.
His eyes. Though staring dead ahead, they told you something was clearly bothering him. Here was a man who had vacated himself from the moment, his mind somewhere else, but you couldn’t image where. Perhaps lost in a memory long ago? What kind of life had a man this intriguing led? you wondered to yourself.

Feeling brave, you opened your mouth, no words coming out at first, and then in a quiet voice you asked, “Is…everything alright?”
This seemed to snap Levi out of his temporary trance, and he returned your gaze, his cold, black eyes locking onto yours. You swallowed, feeling that familiar tingle in you chest you seemed to get every time your eyes met. For a while now, you had played this feeling off as a reaction to Levi’s intimidating nature, but while this may be partially true, your hammering heart seemed to be telling you there was more to it…

The raven-haired man didn’t respond immediately, and returned  his gaze to the ground ahead of him. He exhaled audibly a couple times, something that perplexed you, as it seemed that he might have been working up the courage to say something.
No… You shook your head.
Why would Levi be nervous about talking to you?

“f/n…”
The words came out in a low mumble, and your heartrate immediately began to race at the sound of your voice on his lips.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”